When Bliss Doesn’t Happen

You’ve just delivered your long awaited baby. Everyone in the birthing room is watching you as the doctor places the bundle of joy on your abdomen. Terribly self conscious, you “act” so happy. But deep inside, the little crying thing on your belly is slimy and making a lot of racket and your head is spinning with confusion.

NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THIS! Why???

We have tall moms, short moms, moms of different colors, different temperaments, different everything, so why not different emotions about birthing?

Society frowns of moms who don’t have bliss for their baby, immediately. Many factors play into the first moments of this relationship.

The physical and mental health of the mother during pregnancy and birth has enormous impacts on the moments following birth. Physical complications with the mother during birthing or physical complications with the baby during birthing, adds potent stress on the new mother.

Nearly 15% of all women suffer from postpartum depression. I don’t mean the baby blues, because 50 to 80% of mothers go through some sort of blues/adjustment. In this case we are talking about mothers who have unspeakable problems, such as feeling they are dying, inability to cope with the demands of a new baby, even thoughts of harming their infant or themselves.

Bliss, this is not! But 15% of mothers are not going to have the bliss, they will not be capable of doing bonding right away, they may not even feel like handling their baby. Families, doctors and hospital staff may not think about this mother’s affliction. She will likely feel like the loneliest person in the world, at that moment.

For those mothers who experience these feeling, you are not alone. If you have prior knowledge of PPD, be sure to keep your doctor aware while preparing for birthing. Family and support people need to know this too, if you feel comfortable telling them.

You will need more help following delivery. Be brave and ask for help from anyone, everyone. Avoid hiding these feelings, they don’t often go away for awhile, and medication and talk therapy can do a lot to help.